So I was channel surfing the other day because there weren’t any Kate Beckinsale movies on. I ended up on one of the news channels. They were covering the NATO summit in Chicago, and the protests of the summit. Relax, I’m not gonna get political on you. But I’m like this: if you’re a protester, and you believe you have an important point to make, you might want to take the time to project a certain image if you would like to be taken seriously. Since I have considerable first-hand experience with unintelligent people, I was not surprised that these protesters considered shitty facial hair to be mandatory, probably had not bathed in over a week, and clearly considered it cool to be spittle-faced and flea-ridden. In the few seconds I watched, I saw one of them go face-to-face with a Chicago cop, while wearing — true story — a bright yellow Pokemon backpack. Seriously, bro? Do you have no self-awareness? Are you oblivious to the fact that you look like a douche and a dweeb at the same time? Whoever you are, wherever you are, you need desperately to understand the following: 1) You will never amount to anything; 2) Even if you were to get a job, you would probably be shitty at it; and 3) You must be punched in the face immediately.